He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
