Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
