Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
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I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
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I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My feet surprised me
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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