he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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