the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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