Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
