Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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