we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
