Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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