BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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