So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
