As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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