I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
