I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
