Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Your tits are I can't wait for
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
