I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
