I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
