Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
