i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize