He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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