respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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