chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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