I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's rum buckets o'clock
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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