I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
