dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
