i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize