i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
