I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
