I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
