atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
