okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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