you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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