whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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