I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
