I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
