So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
