We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize