O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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