didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
