seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
