Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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