If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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