Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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