i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
