She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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