i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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