I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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