You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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