I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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