You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
