it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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