I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
