I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize