i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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