Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
