I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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